To acquire a normal (adequate) self-esteem, which is a person's ideas about the value, importance and significance of his qualities, his activities and his personality as a whole. The main (but not the only) component of normal self-esteem is self-acceptance. The implemented change will be based on adequate self-evaluation and will have a certain form.
Self-esteem is not only what we think about ourselves, it is also how we feel about ourselves.
Self-esteem: what is it like?
Self-esteem can be conditionally divided into low, high and healthy (normal).
Low self-esteem is characterized by the fact that a person sees only his own shortcomings and constantly criticizes himself. On an emotional level, this causes him to regularly feel shame or guilt. It also includes self-hatred.
Overestimated self-esteem is a concentration only on one's advantages and merits. A person seems to bathe in them and does not notice the disadvantages. He is obsessed with self-love. Such self-esteem is most common in narcissistic disorder.
Healthy self-esteem is a state in which a person sees and knows his pros and cons. This leads to the fact that self-perception becomes objective and rational. Such a person is able to accept and love himself regardless of the circumstances.
Low self-esteem (2 types):
Self-hatred characterized by specific negative beliefs. A person calls himself certain words, for example, worthlessness, or considers himself terrible. Sometimes such hatred has a certain history, for example, from childhood, when a person was called these very words, humiliated and excessively criticized.
Lack of positive self-esteem.Such a person knows almost nothing about himself, does not know what is good in him, what qualities he possesses, cannot objectively see his strengths.
Psychologist Carl Rogers believes that self-esteem is formed depending on the interaction with the world and on the assessments that others give you. So, the main reasons for low self-esteem are as follows:
The habit of comparing oneself with others
Failure to recognize one's own individuality;
Excessive criticism from others;
Negative life experience, fear of repeating a mistake;
Problems with appearance, fear of ridicule.
Negative experience was formed in childhood.
Psychologist Marilyn Sorensen has developed a test that helps you understand your self-esteem. You can find it on the Internet and go through it to more accurately and objectively determine the level of your self-esteem.
Self-attitude can be divided into five components - our intelligence, appearance, character traits, achievements and individual characteristics and tendencies. Let's analyze each point separately:
Appearance
Our ideal is within us. It is important to find it, understand what it is, and strive for it. To learn more about yourself for women, the Kibby test is the best. He talks about the genetic structure of the bones, he talks about the ratio of sharp and rounded features. These indicators are very different for everyone and form a unique image. You will be able to learn how to paint, cut and dress correctly, choose an image that will be the most natural and harmonious. This test will help you find your personality and paint a concrete image of what you can aspire to.
Men are less concerned about their appearance. Of course, there is also a sufficient number of stereotypes in the spirit of "a real man should be tall, athletic, fashionably dressed and with a haircut." Yes, to some extent these factors can make a person attractive. However, women's preferences for men's beauty can be so different that no single pattern can be found here.
Intelligence
Everyone's mind is very different. For someone figuratively, for someone intellectually, someone notices details. You need to learn to see the advantages of your own type of thinking. There is no right or wrong way of thinking, each has its advantages and disadvantages. To learn more about yourself, it will be very useful to take the DISC test, which allows you to assess your natural inclinations and character composition (the suggested tests in this notebook can be found on the Internet, in the public domain).It is equally important to understand whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. Of course, there are almost no pure types, but knowing what exactly prevails in you will be extremely useful. Knowing your inclinations, you will be able to choose the optimal format for work and communication with others.
Nature
Tests also help determine character. It is also important to remember how you behave in difficult situations. Do not blame yourself for your actions. Those traits that seem negative to you may not be so.
The Holland test helps to determine your main character traits. You will also know which partner is right for you. Understanding your strongest traits will lead you to success in personal relationships and at work.
Achievement
Record all your achievements. As a rule, people tend to forget about their successes. Achievements are very important because they are the result of consistent application of all personality and character traits over a long period of time. If you did something in childhood, it can be useful to you in adult life. It is part of your personal history.
Features
Each of us has some special features. Someone bakes pies well, someone laughs very well. It doesn't have to be anything practical. But if you find such "highlights" and recognize them, they will become your secret trump card.
Healthy self-esteem involves knowing your strengths and weaknesses. A detailed analysis of all your strengths will allow you to get to know yourself better and will bring you much closer to forming a positive attitude towards yourself!
A step-by-step analysis of its advantages will give an excellent effect. This is a detailed search for one's own strengths in all five areas of self-esteem.Almost anyone can do this exercise, as people tend to be chronically unaware of their strengths.
Healthy self-esteem involves knowing your strengths and weaknesses. A detailed analysis of all your strengths will allow you to get to know yourself better and will bring you much closer to forming a positive attitude towards yourself! A step-by-step analysis of its advantages will give an excellent effect. This is a detailed search for one's own strengths in all five areas of self-esteem. Almost anyone can do this exercise, as people tend to be chronically unaware of their strengths. To complete this exercise, you need to fill in the fields below, focusing on yourself)
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